BLOG The Crabbies!

I do want to keep up on this better, but I am still not in the swing of fitting school into my routine, so thanks in advance for your patience while I get better at keeping up.

My goal in taking on school is to enjoy it rather than stress out about it.  In the beginning I did do a much better job than in my college days.  I read the material as it was assigned and I studied the notes as I got them, so that I wouldn’t cram for the test.  Great plan until the panic that set in just before the test when I imagined questions on topics that I knew I didn’t have a handle on. I found myself studying but not getting anywhere.

I am not sure how I did on the test, it WAS hard and there WERE questions that I wasn’t sure of, but I can say it was a great experience for me to go through.  I have always been pretty good about understanding that kids get  and shut down as far as what you can expect them to be able to do. BUT after my own experience I had a little bit more empathy - to the point that I told them when I could tell they needed a break and that I knew it because I had the same experience with my class.

AND I also have reaffirmed for myself the need for ME to have a CrabbieMaster attitude………not to let things get to me.

I will do shorter blogs more often. This is the new plan of the day!!

Next topic: Life is too short to learn everything the hard way.

Have a good day!

CM

Your Comments Will Help Us All THANKS!!

It’s Wacky Week at Becky’s Preschool !!

The timing couldn’t have been better given the cold spurt we are having!

Monday was Wacky Monday and we kicked off the week wearing mismatched, backwards clothes.

It set the tone for the week……….have FUN!

And the kids are doing a great job of NOT BEING WILD!

Here’s a tip on how they did it. At the end of last year, the group and I came up with what we thought would be a simple and effective idea of something to do when things started to get too wild. It took this long for us to FINALLY implement it!

Like my mom always said, here’s what typically happens, “It starts out in fun. Someone gets hurt and it ends up with someone crying!”

The idea is that instead of trying to turn it around by me (the adult) telling everyone to settle down, I tell them ahead of time, as soon as you (one of the children) sense that something is getting out of hand, go sit at the table. If you (one of the children) notice someone is at the table, ask yourself if things are getting wild, and if so go sit at the table too.

This is a great example of ‘Kids-In-Charge’ and of Initiative and be an Example from the U.L.T.I.M.A.T.E. Skills. We always knew it should work, but it has been hard to get it started ‘in the moment’ versus in theory. This week someone finally did it! It has been truly helpful all week with all the extra craziness built into the day. Like with anything else, it has to be monitored so that one kid isn’t going to the table for everything!! We will come to a balance.

I think this idea could also work in a family setting. It really is a great substitute for timeouts. I am thinking that it would work if you only have one child if YOU were to go sit at the table. Think about it. You really just need to turn things around. If your child is being difficult and YOU go sit at the table, what could that do to accomplish your goal? I think it might work pretty well. I don’t like timeouts in that it makes the child feel shame and guilt and then you have THAT to deal with. If the adult were to go to the table………not saying that YOU did anything wrong, but sort of a neutral statement that things are not going well. I know that here, if I were to go to the table, and I just thought of it……..I should have done it myself rather than wait for the kids to get the idea on their own, I am sure the kids would notice me sitting there and join me. It would serve as an interruption in the conflict and we could all reset without that often times harsh interaction of, “Hey! Settle down. Go take a timeout.” Once things are calm, then you would be able to talk about what happened and the child would be in a more accepting place, having not felt horrible about him or herself.

CM

[fyi…future blogs won’t be quite so long…]

Last Thursday I completed my second class in Child Psychology, Social and Personality Development, at the University of Minnesota College of Education and Human Development. I’ve decided to pursue an M. Ed. and Parent Educator license in order for CrabbieMasters and me to be the best resources we can.

I think it could be helpful for many of the growing number of adult CrabbieMasters to share even more than just the experiences from within my preschool. I already see many concepts that come up in class as being related to the whole range of CrabbieMasters ideas throughout the website. The blog just makes for a great format for talking about it all amongst ourselves so that we can all learn even more!

First, a little background: I think what has happened for me is that with over 30 years of loving and working with young children, 5 years as an elementary math specialist with 4^th 5^th and 6^th graders, and 26 years with preschoolers, I know that it is very important to succeed on 2 fronts: One, to have young children know that they are loved and appreciated, and two, to TEACH them what I know they need to know so that when entering kindergarten they are prepared individually, socially and academically. With respect to being academically ready, it strikes me that this ‘pressure’ has truly grown over the years. One of my major concerns is that even kindergarteners and first graders quickly get ‘pigeonholed’. Unfortunately, these initial assessments of high/low group, gifted/slow, etc., all have a way of ‘sticking’. Over time, balancing getting preschoolers ready, without creating burnout at such a young age, has become mission critical.

I responded to what I saw and heard from the kids and used 2 approaches: First, CrabbieMasters – the basic skills to BEAT The Crabbies, learning U.L.T.I.M.A.T.E. skills, and all the way to ‘Kids In Charge’; second, varying my teaching techniques in ways that turned out to fit pretty well into the varied “stages” experts in child development have identified. As luck would have it, I have 2 daughters who are students at the University of Minnesota. Jenna, 26, is in her 5^th year of working on a PhD in Counseling Psychology. Annie, 21, is in her last semester as an undergraduate Family Social Science major. Early on in their studies and many times since both girls have called me when the concepts they learned underscored the reality that The Crabbies truly are a practical and effective application of many important concepts in child development.

Here is one example, The ‘I’ in U.L.T.I.M.A.T.E. is for ‘Initiative’. At first my husband and I were afraid that it was too big of a word for preschoolers to relate to. Fortunately, we decided to go with ‘Initiative’ at first, thinking we would come up with a better word later. I told the kids the word and what it meant. I said it is when, without being asked to, all on your own you do something helpful or come up with some new idea. Examples included telling me paper towels in the bathroom were all gone or bringing in a mitten someone accidentally left outside or asking if tomorrow could be beach day and other things like that.

They shocked us! From day one we were amazed that they all learned the word, what it meant, used it correctly in context and told their parents things like, “I had initiative today.” Many times I heard myself explaining this to prospective preschool parents, “For whatever reason, preschoolers love the word ‘Initiative’ and understand what it means.”

Then, just last week, I was reminded of something Annie had told me about psychologist Erik Erikson’s theories (1902-1994). He describes 8 stages of development, ranging from birth to old age. Guess what he calls the stage for 3 to 6 year olds! Initiative versus Guilt. As my instructor put it, kids at this age have a strong need to show Initiative. Apparently it is a tough stage because it often meets with disapproval from adults………like when Johnny’s initiative is to cut his own hair!! But, channeled right, responded to with enthusiasm and appreciation, and corrected thoughtfully, preschoolers naturally have Initiative. In some ways, coming up with this feels like ‘dumb luck’, but in all honesty what I had done was simply pay attention to what did and didn’t work for the children and make constant adjustments to my approach. If it didn’t work…I didn’t’ push it. If it worked…we kept doing it. Pretty basic, but it’s easy to get stuck on what we as adults think is right or should work and try to force feed it.

By encouraging Initiative and talking freely about all kinds of examples, young children can quickly model what is appropriate and are less likely to do something inappropriate. If they do, the negative impact of any guilt associated with ‘initiative gone wrong’ is softened by being treated as a learning experience instead of ‘bad’; and because appropriate Initiative is more frequent, encouraged, and praised. (I am VERY happy when someone starts putting away things that I have taken off the shelves for stations in addition to their own crayons when I am trying to get lunch ready……….or if someone helps a shorter child hang up his coat after it comes from the dryer on a winter day.)

I strikes me that the whole idea of making young children feel that they are important and capable members of their class and family, is EXACTLY what they need in this stage of development. This is part of the secret power of the CrabbieMasters. When kids feel good on this very basic level, as one mom put it, they “buy into” it, and the attitude that results flows into other stuff like going to bed without a fight, picking up after playtime, etc. All the time? Of course not. But more often…absolutely!

This all sort of reminds me of the Springer Spaniel we had………biggest pain in the neck dog you have ever seen. We have since learned that the mistake we made was that she simply needed her retrieving nature fulfilled. Had we let her fetch a little, she may not have had so many undesirable behaviors. Now we have an adopted golden retriever/black lab that is a great dog; like Coco would have been if Mike had played fetch everyday like he does with Sabrina.

I truly do believe that we can learn from our own experiences and from the experiences of others. It is my sincere hope that everyone visiting “BLOG The Crabbies!” and CrabbieMasters.com benefits.

For my part, I’ll try to bring daily experience combined with my new found ‘back to school’ mission to include current early childhood theory to give you the best information I can to share ideas and help make child rearing an enjoyable time for adults and children.

CM